Walk of Heroes Day 17 and maybe 18

Hello all. So…Yesterday but I did not blog because I was distracted by something.  I have been watching Nollywood films for the past 4 days. Ok.  I have not watched one today and I am resisting but I have watched one hour of one (Rihanna and Beyonce) Monday, finished it Tuesday and started another one (Blackberry Babes) the same day, Wednesday I finished Blackberry Babes and started Evil Forest but Youtube did not have the complete film, then I watched Sacred Lies with Genevieve Nnaji, the most beautiful and elegant woman in Nollywood from what I can see so far.

But that is not the one I want to discuss and this relates to my life issues with exercising.  I want to  discuss Blackberry Babes.  In the film, these Nigerian university girls are completely obsessed with owning Blackberries.  They will exclude you in some ways if you don’t have a Blackberry, etc.  Some were sleeping with these older men in order to get Blackberries.  One girl was not as clever as the other two and she slept with these men and still did not get the Blackberry.  Two stole their BB from people.  One from a relative and the other from Al-Hajji, one of the other lady’s sugar daddies.  Another two girls fought over a BB and also did not pay their school fees in order to get a BB and therefore did not graduate.  And one was even using her BB to scam men.  She was 419. I could not believe it.

There was only one sensible girl in the entire 4-hour film, who used the Blackberry to read her school books since she could not afford them, to get a scholarship, and to out a criminal and the other women in the book had the nerve to call her a classless girl.  They were quite foolish themselves.

But I like the movie  because it teaches us an important lesson that technology can really distract us from our goals if we let it, that is by overindulging in it, specifically by spending a lot of time on useless websites, by using it to hurt people.  Yet technology  is so pervasive that we cannot run away from it and if we do we may also suffer for it.  But also if we spend so much time and senseless energy on technology then we do not control the technology but the technology controls us.  It can ruin our lives if we allow it to and are no careful and it can distract us from our goals.  Even if we think we are controlling it in the end it will defeat us.

But honestly 7 out of 10 of those girls were seriously wicked and the other two were just senseless. The was one sensible girl as I said. One out of the seven was wicked and foolish.

I am talking about this because technology is at the moment defeating me and has for maybe 5 years now I think. Oh goodness. Even this film has distracted me from my 5k goals.  Yesterday, I ran for the amount I was supposed to, but guess what. I ran inside, in place (since I don’t have a treadmill), watching that Blackberry Babes film.  I was so addicted.  You know that film is almost 4 hours?  Knowing good and well that running inside is not going to prepare me for a 5k race and today I have yet to do my weight training.  At least yesterday since I was glued to these movies, I just started making my GRE flashcards. Yes I am going to grad school and vocab is the most difficult.

Are you asking me if I recommend these films to you?  I would say under certain conditions, yes.  They do have sex scenes, but so do American films (this is why I prefer Bollywood over Nollywood and Hollywood because if people want to express their love they dance and in these Nollywood films there was very little real love as far as I could see. Mostly just foolishness). I would also say only watch these movies when you really absolutely have 4-6 hours to spare. The great thing these about the films is almost never the cinematography unless we are talking about Ije: The Journey or Niger-Delta: Black Gold.  The women are also hoochies. Straight-up.  Especially the fair-skinned (Onye Ocha/Oyibo) women they pick. I would say Genevieve, Omotola, and some other dark girls are elegant, however. Are they trying to prove a point by doing that? How rude. Anyway, the cinematography is poor, the music is usually poor, but the plot and the themes are pretty amazing actually.  They take patience I will say. Sometimes the acting is terrible (Nadia) sometimes it is great (Genevieve and Tonto) but it’s worth it.  Whoever writes them is quite genius, but I will say that if you are sensitive to sexuality do not watch the ones I listed except Evil Forces. In fact, I probably should not watch them myself because I was outraged by the movies No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits and How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, but that is for another day.

This is about the 5k Training.  I have done nothing today and don’t know if I will. I am really slacking!! If I accomplished my mission I will just have a blog post saying check.  If I did not I will say fail. As I learned from the film I cannot allow technology to destroy my life.  I need to use it to my advantage.  Let me go so I can find another Nollywood film.

Oh goodness, I am running to health people with mental illnesses and here I am with a mental illness.  Media addiction. But I don’t receive that. Do not forget to visit the Dekalb County Community Service Board website to find out more about the Walk of Heroes 5k: http://dekcsb.org/

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Add a comment August 11, 2011
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Natural Hair in the Workplace: Academic Edition

This is a continuation of the Natural Hair in the Workplace Series.  This series focuses on women who work on college campuses. One might think that college campuses (at least some) would be more liberal in terms of hair styles.  But as you may see soon that is not always the case and the criticism may come from those some would least expect. I interviewed two women JeNell LaRue, Coordinator of Counseling Services at Gwynedd-Mercy College, a Catholic University in Pennsylvannia, and Ebony McNeal, am English Graduate Instructor at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) a public research university in Oxford, Mississippi.

  1. Name: JeNell LaRue
  2. Education level: I attended Gwynedd-Mercy College and hold two degrees from the institution: a Bachelor of Science in Psychology (2004) and a Master of Science in School Counseling (2008).
  3. What is the company/organization/agency for which you work? Gwynedd-Mercy College Upward Bound
  4. What is your position? Coordinator of Counseling Services
  5. How long have you been working there? 3 years with Upward Bound, 7 years at the college total.
  6. How long have you been natural? I stopped relaxing my hair in 2007, but continued straightening and wearing protective styles. I started wearing my hair in it’s natural state in January 2011.
  7. How did you wear your hair for the interview for this position? It was straightened, but had curls.
  8. Have you ever worn your hair in a natural style for any job interview? If so, for what position of what company and what where the results of the interview? No, I decided to go totally natural while in my current position.
  9. Do you wear your hair in natural styles in the work place? Yes!!!
  10. If so, have you faced any conflict because of it? Any praise? I get so much praise from everyone, especially my white and African colleagues. My Black colleagues like it for the most part, but some are more traditional and like my hair straightened.
  11. What is your favorite hairstyle to wear to work? Depends on what I’m doing. I wear it out, or one side up, in a french twist, with a head band, or in twists.

12. What hair styles, if any, are considered inappropriate in the work place? Anything that doesn’t look neat and clean. We try to use our individual discretion.

13. Have you noticed any other black women working for the same company or organization as you? If so, how do they wear their hair? Our VP is natural, and she wears a short cut. Other Black women on campus may not relax their hair, but it’s still in a straightened style, or weave.

14. Do you find it difficult to take care of your hair now that you are working for this company or organization? Not at all! It actually became much easier to maintain.

15. Do you have any advice for professional women who want to go natural or natural girls who want to go professional (are entering the workforce)? Since going natural, I have noticed that my students have been more receptive to asking questions about natural hair care, and some have even garnered the courage to go natural themselves! Even a few of my white colleagues have natural hair discussions with me regarding their own natural curl pattern. She stopped straightening her hair for a while and began to love her curls too. It’s truly moving. What I tell them (and the college students I interact with) is if you decide to do anything to your exterior appearance, remember the context in which you plan to work. Plan to look neat and put together well, especially when interviewing for a job. In the professional world, natural hair is more accepted than in the past. However, you still have to maintain your hair and your look no matter what. Try new styles and learn what your hair responds to best, then play around with your hair. It’s fun! But in all seriousness, the most important thing is to be confident in yourself. If you are confident and you wear your natural ‘whatever’ with dignity and sophistication you will set the tone.

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Ebony McNeal

  1. Name: Ebony McNeal
  2. Education Level: I am currently in the second year of my PhD in English Literature program at the University of Mississippi
  3. What is the company/organization for which you work?  University of Mississippi
  4. What is your position? English Graduate Instructor
  5. How long have you been working there? One year
  6. How long have you been natural? 5 1/2 years
  7. How did you wear your hair for the interview for this position? There was no interview, but I wore my hair pressed straight for my first semester of teaching.
  8. Have you ever worn your hair in a natural style for any job interview? If so, for what position of what company and what where the results of the interview? Yes, I wore a natural pin up for my interview at College X for the Institutional Advancement Specialist position.  I was granted the position and held it for 3 years.
  9. Do you wear your hair in natural styles in the work place? Yes
  10. If so, have you faced any conflict because of it? Any praise? In my previous position, I received disparaging remarks regarding my natural hairstyles by superior officers.  My natural hair seems to be embraced by those surrounding me in my current position.  There are often comments of praise concerning my hair.
  11. What were the disparaging remarks about your hair at your last job and who said them? Was the person black? White? Older? Younger? Man? Woman? The remarks from my previous position were not overtly disparaging.  They were more passive (i.e. “What happened to your hair?”, “Oh! That’s different.”).  Most of the remarks came from older Black women and a few older Black men.  Any remarks from my white colleagues would be more along the lines of “How did you do that to your hair?”  There were quite a few young Black women who were toying with the idea of natural hair and we sort of formed an unofficial support group for hair suggestions and ideas there.  On the bright side, lots of my young Black female students sometimes stick around after class to ask hair questions.  That’s always flattering.
  12. What is your favorite hairstyle to wear to work?a natural twist out ‘fro

    Twist Out

  13. What hair styles, if any, are considered inappropriate in the work place?  I tend to stay away from a blow out for work because of the length of my hair.  I feel it would be distracting to have such a large hairstyle while teaching.
  14. Have you noticed any other black women working for the same company or organization as you? If so, how do they wear their hair? I am currently the only Black woman in my department working in this position.
  15. Do you find it difficult to take care of your hair now that you are working for this company or organization? No
  16. Do you have any advice for professional women who want to go natural or natural girls who want to go professional (are entering the workforce)?  Sure!  Be confident in your natural hair decisions.  People will only feel uneasy about your lovely coif, if you are unnerved by it.  Don’t be afraid to experiment with new styles and products.  Sometimes it’s best to try new things on the weekends or over breaks, just in case things don’t go as expected.

Conclusion:  I did not interview enough women to make a strong conclusion since there are so many universities in the United States and I probably on interview 0.00001% of the people who work on college campuses and maybe 0.0002% of the black women who work on college campuses.  I cannot imagine the percentage of natural women on college campuses, but the anecdotes demonstrate that you might be able to survive as a professor/lecturer/faculty/staff on a university campus.   If I can, I will definitely post more interviews of natural women in academia.  Unfortunately, the black woman in the highest position at my university that I know is not natural yet. [Cough cough] Dr. Z.

The surprising bit of information we can take away from this (or at least that which is surprising to some) is that the toughest critics of natural kinky-curly hair are quite often other black people.  Older black people.   This makes sense because the people I usually hear saying that the natural is unprofessional are older black people. No. I take that back, some of my white family members said this too, but guess what.  They all have curly hair.  Could it mean that we are our own worse enemies?  Or could it possibly mean that human beings tend prefer what we do not naturally have? I do not know. Dominicans despise curly hair (the way their hair is supposed to be naturally).  Many Nigerians do not see how a person can live without a relaxer.  I have noticed that some white people fry their hair to death with hair coloring and Chi’s (flat irons). Don’t you people know that God knows what he is doing?  In almost every case listed above, the processes used are highly toxic.  Not joking.

Anyway, we were talking about natural hair in the work place, the conclusion is that maybe if you are working for an older black person, you might want to be really careful of how you wear your hair.  I do not know for sure though.  These are two isolated incidences, albeit two isolated incidences in two different states.   One in the north and one in the south. Hmmm….

1 comment August 9, 2011

Walk of Heroes Day 13-16

Oh wow. I am so behind.  I have not blogged about my exercise stuff for a while.  I have been so tired and I spent all day yesterday braiding my hair.  Five hours. I’m never doing that again.  But I have done my exercises.  Yesterday I jogged/walk for thirty minutes.  I have to get up really early because yesterday was the first day of school and if I am not up before the kids, I will stop and talk to them and their parents and get distracted.  Speaking of getting distracted, for the past five hours I was watching a Nollywood film.  It should be called a mini-series because those things are so, so long.  I think they were created so that women would have something to distract them while they get their hair braided.  Maybe next time I braid my hair, which will not be for a long while, I will watch one with Genevieve.

Anyway, because I completed all of my exercises the last two weeks I bought myself some new shoes and some insoles.  I have a very high arch and the shoes these days don’t have the support you need.  My brother recommended The Nike Free Runs but I got the Reebok Version because they are prettier to me.

I know that once I get a job this exercising thing is going to be much harder because there is no room for me to get up late like ever.  Last night an old friend called so I stayed up.  I knew that I would not be wanting to wake up at 5:40am so I turned off my alarm click and did not wake up until 8:30am and did not work out until 11.  I don’t know why that keeps happening.  Like when I wake up at 5:40 or 6:30, I start at the most an hour later.  If I wake up after that I start 2 or 3 hours later. Beats me.  Maybe it’s  because it’s cooler in the morning.

Okay.  Sat and Sun I rested big time.  Sleep in. I need to stop staying up late.

My new shoes. They are prettier in person

Add a comment August 9, 2011

Hair Growth Tips Part V: Understand Damage. Know the Damage

So, one of the major obstacles to obtaining long hair is hair damage especially at the ends, the driest oldest part of the hair. In fact, it might be the top obstacle to achieving hair length.  Think about it this way: If the average head of hair grow 0.5in (1.27cm) per month and you are losing, for example 0.5 inches of hair per month, you net hair growth is 0 inches.  As a result your hair stays the same length.  Once you know the common sources of damage, you can prevent them and therefore draw closer and closer to you hair growth goals.

There are two major types of damage: mechanical damage and chemical damage.  I am sure a lot of you learned about changes in matter in middle school science (whether you remember it or not).  I remember (for some reason or another) from my 6th science book that one type of chemical change is rusting.  I do not remember the book’s example for a physical change but I would say breaking a piece of chalk or stick or molding a piece of clay can be an example.

For hair damage, it is good to think of chemical damage and mechanical damage as similar to chemical and physical change respectively as the way you may have learned about it in physical science.  Chemical damage is similar to chemical change and mechanical damage is similar to physical change.  In fact, I shouldn’t say similar.  Damage is a type of change. Abi? So mechanical damage usually deals with some kind of pulling and chemical damage usually deals with change in pH.

I will also discuss heat damage but I do not actually know what category that goes under.  Probably physical damage, but I am going to take about it after chemical anyway.

Types of Mechanical Damage

  • Cotton Pillow Cases
  • Furniture with plant-based fabrics
  • Combing
  • Brushing
  • Pulling
  • Styling tools
    • Hair bands

Solutions:

  • Use a silk or satin pillow case and a satin bonnet when going to sleep.
  • You may want to carry a silk cloth around you to place on your car seat and couches you sit on to protect hair from the friction.  I do not do this but if you a really obsessed with hair growth, why not?
  • Detangle hair gently.  You may not ever want to use a comb and instead finger detangle.  I talk about this more in here the detangling edition of the hair growth series.
  • Do not touch your hair or pull it.
  • When styling the hair use tools that do not pull the hair.  For example, Goody’s has Goody Comfort-Flex Updo Barrettes.  I use them and they have never taken out my hair.  Banana clips and these things (that I can’t remember the name of but I’ll provide a picture) are also good.

This is what I was talking about

Goodies and Annie’s sell this hair accessory but not as fancy

You can also soak ouchless hair bands (those without metal) in oils like cocoa nut oil or olive oil or you can use a silk or satin scrunchy.  These will prevent damage and breakage.  I will show you some styles to do with these.

CHEMICAL DAMAGE

Chemical damage usually comes from an unhealthy pH balance.  Anything between 4 and 5.5 probably the healthiest pH balance.  Anything between 4 and 7 is the acceptable.  Most chemicals with a pH higher than 7(basic) or lower than 4 (very acidic) are usually more damaging.  There are a few chemicals/products/substances that distort the pH balance of the hair.  When the pH of the hair is above 7 or below 4, the hair follicle’s cuticle opens making it more prone to damage.

Products you want to stay away from because of the pH:

  • Certain soaps even “organic” ones may have pH balance between 7 and 8
  • Mild Relaxers — 8-11
  • Regular relaxers (those with lye sodium hydroxide NaOH or calcium) -14 (the high pH possible)
  • Baking Soda — 8.3-9.0
  • A clean swimming pool 7.6-7.8
  • Lemon Juice 2
  • Most vinegars (not diluted) 2.4-3.6
  • Egg whites 7.9-9.3

Solutions:

  • Most shampoos and conditioners are in the healthy range (4-7), but you can also apply aloe vera which has a pH of 4 after each wash to make sure.
  • Do not get relaxers.  If you absolutely have to you may want to consider getting a deep conditioner with protein and deep condition at least once per week.  This means leaving a deep conditioner on the hair for quite a while with a plastic bag and a towel.  I explain this in more detail here.  The reason you want to get a protein conditioner is because the alkaline substance opens the cuticle and then changes the protein structure.  Therefore a relaxer changes the structure of the hair strand.
  • Simple. Don’t use baking soda.  Why do you need to? Use shampoo or conditioner to wash.
  • I have a swimming regimen here
  • No need to use lemon juice on the hair.
  • If you absolutely need to use vinegar on the hair, say for clarifying, make sure to only use a little and dilute it with water. Use Apple Cider Vinegar but remember to dilute.
  • If you want to use egg as a protein treatment, only use the yolks and do not leave the egg in too long because the pH will rise.

Products that are acceptable for the hair based on pH:

  • Milk 6.4-6.8 (I was surprised that it is acidic too)
  • Egg Yolks 6.2 (but rises a little.  Make sure you do not keep it in the hair too long)
  • Water 7 (Of course. It’s neutral)

Substance that has the best pH for the hair:

  • Aloe Vera gel 4-4.5
  • Sebum 4.0-5.5 (but that’s naturally in the hair and on the skin anyway)
  • I wish I near about the pH of all the oils I use but I do not

Visit dermnet.org.nz for more information.

I tried posting a video explanation of this pH thing but since the person who explained it wants to be weak-sauce, I am not even going to recommend her. She really is weak-sauce, yo! And I am trying to be nice about it.

Heat Damage

Like with a high pH level, high temperature also opens the cuticle of the hair to raise and therefore break.  This is probably why a lot of hair experts rarely put heat on their hair and if they do they are very careful about it.  Some only put heat on their hair 1-3 times per year.  Some only put heat on the hair once per week if they like the straight look.  There is also a woman called LongHairDontCare2011 on Youtube.  She straightens her hair and recommends using a heat protector. You should test a piece of hair on a paper towel to see if the iron is too hot.  If you burn your hair, it’s too hot. LongHairDontCare2011 also uses lower heat on the ends (since they are the most fragile parts of the hair).  I also recommend these steps.

But keep in mind that LHDC2011 also says that heat is not good for the hair. She simply does it because she believes she will be able to manage straight hair more easily than her natural texture of hair.  When she was trying to achieve length she rarely put heat on her hair and I have noticed that since she has been using heat it does not seem to have the same length retention as she did when she did not use heat.  I would also say that if you are transitioning from a relaxer or chemical treated hair to natural hair, do not, I repeat DO NOT straighten your heat or put heat on your hair at all. Period. Wait until the relaxer is all one and the hair is healthy.

In summary, I would say heat is not recommended if you desire hair length retention and heat is unnecessary in terms of beauty and hair management sake.  If you really, really insist that you need heat, be very, very careful.  No joke. Get a heat protectant (I don’t know of good ones since I don’t), get a good deep conditioner, test the iron with hair on paper towel.  Maybe using aloe vera afterwards could help too. Did I miss anything?

Please check out LongHairDontCare2011’s page here. She has some awesome hair and awesome hair styles straight as well as kinky.

Another important lesson or tip we can gather from this knowledge of heat is to rinse the hair with cold water (as cold as bearable) after washing the hair.  I make sure that my very last rinse when washing my hair is a cold rinse.  I use warm (no hot) water to shampoo or co-wash the hair, but after I deep condition, I use cold water, which is especially good now since it is so dang HOT outside!!!

The last thing I will say is that your hair can get damaged from a lack of moisture.  I do not know what category I would put this under.  Just make sure you moisturize and you can moisturize with aloe and water.

OK ya’ll.  I’m tired. Questions? oyiboprincess.@gmail.com.  Email me.

Heard this song today.  Love it.  It has a great bass line.  Great harmony.  I can relate to it because I still don’t have a job.  Never realized how beautiful the song is:

Add a comment August 6, 2011

Walk of Heroes 5k Training: Day 12

Okay. I will tell you that today I ran today, but that is not really important.  What’s important is that today I did not feel sore when I woke up in the morning.   In fact, I could have comfortably gotten up at 5:40am like I had been planning to do, trained, and been okay with that.  Out of bad habit and laziness I didn’t get up that early.

But the question is, what’s the secret? Why was I not sore?  What did I do to prevent the soreness?

One possibility is that I actually went to bed early.  I went at 10:40 when I usually go to sleep at 12am and even 1am.  You really need to allow your body to heal by sleeping enough.  Another possibility is the stretching.  Yesterday after circuit training I stretched every major muscle group.  One day last week I skipped stretching and I paid for it for about a week or so.  Do not skip stretching.  If you do, you will pay for it through injury and that will be a major set back.  You also may get soreness which will can also be a setback.

Here are the stretches I do:

UPPER BODY

Upper Back

Triceps

Chest and Shoulders

Biceps

LOWER BODY

Calves

Quads

Hamstrings

Groan

CORE 

Abdominals

Abductors/Adductors*

Lower Back*

*There is actually some controversy on whether these are apart of the core or lower body, but when I do exercises for them they are for the core.

I also want to add that I hold each stretch for a minimum of 30 seconds.  You muscles are in shock stage for the first twenty seconds which is why you need to hold the stretches for at least 30 seconds.

Oshé! I’m exhausted. Went showing today and will update you about that later.

Add a comment August 6, 2011

Another Random Update

 

Last night, I had a dream that I saw a pic of myself with straightened hair.  It was very long and very thick and black too. Not that dusty brownish color that comes from sun damage which I usually have. Was weird because I never recall my hair looking like that. I do kind of wonder what my hair would look like straightened at this point but I will have to wait until the weather changes or move to New Mexico because it is really hot and humid in Atlanta right now and my hair frizzes up so, so easily.  Another reason I do not straighten my hair or get relaxers.  If I decide to straighten my hair which may not be until September or October, I will definitely post the picture to show you what it looks like. I feel so bad though.  I have not posted anything about hair in a while.  I have a post coming up on damage and I really need to make some style videos.

Last time I straightened my hair 1/25/09

 

Around the time I last straightened my hair

 

Look at me now (Aug 4, 2011)

Just keep in mind that the pic of me now is a braid-out, albeit  an accidental one because I only took out these braids I had in to show you what my natural hair looks like in comparison to 2009.  Back then in 2009, I was wearing a co-wash and go, like I did everyday, since I had no idea what braid out was nor did I desire a braid out but they really are a good thing.  You can use all the best hair products in the world but if you do not treat the hair properly through the styling and detangling techniques you use, the products are useless.  That is what I have learned.  I told you some great ways to detangle and I have hinted some good products and ingredients but the styling tutorials are long, long, long, long overdue.  I feel so bad. I will get to them, but I am really busy nowadays.  How about this:  I will wash my hair every Friday evening and style on Saturday so perhaps you can expect to see a styling video and pictorial ever Monday?  How is that?  I should ahve posted the Natural Hair in the workplace series but I have been trying to get myself in the work place.  Expect a lot Monday.

Add a comment August 4, 2011

Walk of Heroes 5k Training: Day 11

Same as usual. I did the circuit training but I had such a difficult time getting up.  I was so sore.  It does not seem that the soreness is going away.  It makes it difficult to get up in the morning and when I exercise I feel exhausted. So exhausted.  But it makes sense because what happens during weight training or resistance training is that the muscles are exhausted which is why you should allow the body to rest on the in between days in order for the weight training to be more effective.  The only thing is I think I am resistant (haha!) to that advice because I do not understand why you should rest for 4 days out of the week and only exercise only 3 days out of the week. Our bodies were made to move not rest.  If you rest all the time you will not get any work done and the Bible only says to rest once per week not 4.  That is a lot.  Although a lot of health and fitness experts say that you should completely rest 4 days out of the week but you should practice less intense exercise on the other days. I do not know what I would do. Dance? That is not so intense.  Maybe that means I would do the running and the circuit training on the same day.  That might actually be better for me.  Maybe I will try that next week and I dance anyway.  Every single day. I don’t even need a DJ, my IPod or my computer, I can sing the music myself.

For the sore muscles, maybe I should hire a masseuse!! hehe.  Don’t quite have that kind of money unfortunately.  Ok. I shall leave you now.  Good day.

Add a comment August 4, 2011

Walk of Heroes 5k Training: Day 10

Today I ran. I got up late because I was so exhausted and I had a terrible dream last night about an ex-boyfriend so I went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until 7:20am.  Do not really see the point in dating a guy I don’t plan to marry.  But at one time I thought it was a great thing to have a boyfriend just for fun.  Now it’s haunting me. And it was a one-month relationship 4 or 5 years ago.  Mary-Kate and Ashley!!! I don’t want to curse you, but geez…. Anyway. Yeah. To the young ladies out there, serial dating is useless and private meetings are bad in so many ways. You can get killed, raped, pregnant, diseased, heart-broken, even hypnotized into dating/marrying a guy who is not right for you.

Nowadays, if a guy is interested in me, he has to meet my parents and has to clearly establish that he might be interested in marrying me.  Then he will have to go through a thorough screening process.  And NO PRIVATE MEETINGS! I think us ladies from my generation really allow our male counterparts to get away with a lot.  I used to allow so many guys to waste my youth.  Now when I suspect that they are wasting my youth, I do not fully understand his intentions, I am not stopping for him, especially if the Holy Spirit is telling me, “This is a waste.” Guys slow you down. I will not be slowed down.

This attitude I am developing (or I should say redeveloping  because I used to have it in high school) is probably the reason that successful women get married late or do not get married at all.  I am not saying that I am not interested in men, but…I will just take my time, be prayerful, and not anxious.  I have faith that God wants me to get married because every time I give up on the idea, he brings to my attention that I need to pray about it.  I get really angry when I feel as though a guy has wasted or is wasting my time.  The guy is just hanging around for no reason, especially if he is really boring and does not laugh at my jokes or doesn’t have any funny ones of his own.  Or say for example, he always wants to have private meetings.  There is nothing good that can come out of that. Or say for example, he only texts and never calls. Makes me think this is just a game to him. I have had to cut off so many for fear that they are wasting my time.  I hate being distracted.  So distracted that I am not getting my work done and then in the end, I still do not have a man.  I have no idea what’s going through those guys’ heads.

Do not get me wrong. I have guy friends but they are usually the older brother.  In fact, the no private meeting advice comes from a man, Father Patrick, who I adopted as my big brother while I was in Nigeria.  Or uncle type.  You have to watch out for those uncle types sometimes too.

Honestly, sometimes it is quite difficult to know if a guy is sincere, because he may laugh at your jokes, he may seem innocent, he may call just to hear your voice, he may give good advice, he may introduce you to his friends, he may hold the door for you, he may talk about marriage, he may take you out to dinner but he still just wants the cookies.

Only thing I can say for sure is NO PRIVATE MEETINGS.

Why am I talking about this? I am supposed to be talking about exercise.  I think my point was that my life would have been better off if I did not (and I will be frank and honest, it’s embarrassing but I think I should share because a lot of girls go through this) give things to guys who were not my husband things that only meant for my husband. In this case, I did not have sex with the guy, but I did way more for him than he deserved. Nothing against him, he’s just not my husband and hopefully never will be.  I am not sure why I had a dream about this guy but I pray that I do not have one like that again. Just to take away the mystery,  I made out with this guy. A future employer might see this or whatever but I think my story should be told. Private meetings are a bad idea.

Yeah. Anyway. Today running was really painful. Ugh. I surely hope it gets better. I am always soooo sore.  I think I will have to do Yoga today. Some girls in my Christian fellowship say that Yoga is for worshiping another god,  but honestly to me it is just stretching.  It also depends on your instructor too. This week it’s jog for 90 seconds, walk for 2 minutes.  Next week it’s jog for 90 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, jog for 3 minutes, walk for 3 minutes.  That is going to hurt.

Um…I think you should listen to this song:

It’s old. So what? Never saw the end of that video.  Guys should avoid private meetings with women too. The adultress can ruin your life.  It’s in Joshua I believe and it’s in Proverbs for sure. Proverbs 7 to be exact. It’s even all over TV, books, and the movies. Movie: Atonement.  Book: Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Show: Grey’s Anatomy. I thought that Grey’s Anatomy was such a terrible, terrible show because everyone in hospital was sleeping with each other, but my mom told me last night that every character on the show faces serious consequences because they sleep around.   But seriously, when unmarried people do things meant for married people it can ruin their lives.  You may not be able to be with the one you love if you commit adultry.  I have seen it so many times. Ok 5 times too many. I guess I did not know because of all of the blood. Oh yeah. Haven’t posted hair anything lately.  I am working on it.  I have been exhausted lately and studying Physics.

Add a comment August 3, 2011

Walk of Heroes 5k: Day 9

Did the circuit training and what not.  I woke up early but only started at 10. Ended at 11.  Not as pathetic as the last time I messed up but I still have to punish myself with no music. I was really tired though today.  I can wake up early but going to bed early is really a challenge. It means that I have to eat early and I just get so wrapped up in errands that I can’t seem to get to be. OKay.  This is the plan. I will take my shower now and work really hard on Physics for the next 6 hours. Make dinner at 5 or 6 start winding down with a book at 8 or 9.  Go to bed at 10pm sharp.  No excuses. So difficult because the night time is the right time, but it’s also the right time to go to sleep.

Add a comment August 2, 2011

Walk of Heroes 5k Training: Day 8

Today I hit the snooze button 5 times but I made it out at 6:40am. Don’t want to talk about it too much because I have to study Physics/GRE.  I was a little worried because last week I walked for 5 minutes,  then ran 60s, walked 90s alternating for 20 min in all. 5 min cool down, static stretches for 15 min. And it was done. This week, I have 90sec running and 2 min walking so I did not know if I could do it.  Was easier than I thought, but definitely not so difficult.

Oh some bad news. When I was running….(get your eyes ready)….I saw dog poop on the street. I used my stick to see if it was soft. And it was!! That meant that the dog was near. I learned this trick from The Parent Trap Movie with Lindsey Lohan. Anyway, I kept running (only had 15 more minutes)because the Holy Spirit told me it was okay but I did my warm up inside. I don’t know if I need to wake up earlier or what, but I don’t want to be attached my a dog. I will just have to keep carrying my stick.  I don’t know why people can’t have the courtesy to keep their dogs chained up behind the fences. I will knock a dog out if (s)he tried to attack me. I’m definitely going to keep carrying my stick.

I have to keep writing blogs about this stuff because it is a great accountability tool.

Add a comment August 1, 2011

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